Nul Pointers 1984 – 2015

01 “Sarkim Sevgi Ustune” Seyal Tanner (TURKEY/1987)

Seyyal’s backing group were called Locomotiv but their exuberant dance routines left them in the sidings in Brussels. Many Turkish entries were over frantic in those days and it was only with televoting from the ex-pats that Turkey’s fortunes dramatically improved.

02 “Lisa, Mona Lisa” Wilfried (AUSTRIA/1988)

Wilfried Scheutz has the distinction of the “nul points” song most commonly found in the “worst songs” polls, reflecting perhaps a universal lack of affection. His deep voice and mournful tribute to Mona Lisa was in all honesty the antithesis of Euro cheer.

03 “Pad Sem Enginn Ser” Daniel (ICELAND/1989)

Like Wilfried, Daniel Agust was stark in appearance and his atmospheric low key song was destined for the very same result. 1989 was a schmaltz fest and Daniel’s song was too downbeat to fit in. He is still going very very strong in his native Iceland.

04 “Venedig Im Regen” Thomas Forstner (AUSTRIA/1991)

In 1989 Austrian teen idol Thomas came fifth giving Austria it’s best result in over a decade. Two years later he went to Rome to sing about Venice in the rain and got well and truly soaked. His pop idol career sadly came to a swift end.

05 “Lopisine Mylimaj” Ovidijus Vysniauskas (LITHUANIA/1994)

Seven countries from Eastern Europe debuted in 1994. Poland and Hungary excelled while the Baltics filled the last two slots (but Estonia and Latvia would be the first new countries to win). Ovidijus black pvc jeans and Phil Mitchell appearance didn’t pull in the votes.

06 “San Francisco” Tor Endresen (NORWAY/1997)

Tor tried many times to sing for Norway but the retro “San Francisco” achieved Norway’s fourth zero. In 1997 televoting was debuted in some countries but free language was two years away and Norway’s early draw and the language served it badly.

07 “Antes De Adeus” Celia Lawson (PORTUGAL/1997)

Angolan born Celia is no relative of Nigella, and her recipe wasn’t tasty enough to avoid Portugal’s second zero after some years of relative success (and critical acclaim). Celia has now morphed into a “progressive metal” artist which is kind of nice.

08 “Lass Ihn” Gunvor (SWITZERLAND/1998)

Do me a favour Gunvor! Well actually the televoters in 1998 did Switzerland no favours. Gunvor is a successful singer and dancer in her homeland but was hit by a tabloid sex scandal in the run up to her Eurovision and that combined with a dour song didn’t help.

09 “Cry Baby” Jemini (UK/2003)

The scouse duo hit a new milestone for the UK in Riga and got much press coverage in the process. Variously blamed on the Iraq war or a bad vocal performance due to Jemma’s mic not working. Both her and Chris have shown commendable good humour.

10 “I Am Yours” The Makemakes (AUSTRIA/2015)

Austrian broadcaster ORF piled huge resources into stageing the sixtieth Eurovision with a fantastic show. The home act featured a man with a hat and a piano on fire. Europe no likey.

11 “Black Smoke” Ann Sophie (GERMANY/2015)

Ann Sophie is blessed to feature on our site as not just a Nul Pointer but also as part of the “ones that got away”. Andreas Kummert won the very high profile German selection, then on live TV declined the trip to Wien. Germany’s third Nul Points ensued.